Reason #5: My Time is My Own

So I have this college roommate who is awesome. I'm pretty sure she doesn't realize how awesome she is and how awesome her life is, which I think makes her more awesome. After we graduated college, she wound her way to Washington, D.C. After working for a Representative here and a Senator there, she found herself working in the State Department a few years ago as some sort of White House liasion and rubbing elbows with Condolezza Rice (who majorly impresses me, by the way, with her classical piano and her desire to be the NFL Commissioner one day). Her job took her to all sorts of interesting places and working on things that matter, such as peace talks between warring factions and whatnot. It was not unusual for me to talk to her and hear that she had just come back from the Middle East, or from Spain, or from some other exotic location.

And when a new political party took office in January 2009, she found herself at a crossroads: what would she do next with her life? She had dozens of options that I'm sure I will get wrong, but one option was to work with her state's legislature as sort of an HR director for the staff of all legislators to working for a private investment firm figuring out how to spend their money for good causes and which ones to invest in. But she did something I would never be brave enough to do: she struck out on an around-the-world tour. No kidding. She took several months and just traveled to all the interesting places she'd been where she'd made friends, and had a glorious time doing it. I remember talking to her while she was trying to make the decision on whether to go, and she said, "You know, I'm single, I don't have children, I'm not tied down at the moment; if I don't do it now, I will never do it."

And I loved that attitude. And how true it would be if she were attached/married to someone who had a job and a mortgage and responsibilities to tend to at home. When else will she have such a chance? And she took it. And the last time I heard from her, she was living in Rwanda working on reconciliation projects between those whose families had been victims of the genocide that took place a decade ago and those who had committed the genocide. (How's that for work that matters?)

So Andie Mac (as I so affectionately call her) is my Reason #5 as to why it's good to be single. You want to take a vacation to some place fun and you've got the money and vacation time to do it? Go for it! You don't have to convince someone who is allergic to the sun that a Caribbean cruise would be a good time. And in the meantime, you aren't getting dragged to a NASCAR race for a long weekend when you'd rather have your feet propped up reading the latest issue of People Magazine or that novel you've been eyeing for months. My "me" time is truly "me" time and I get to dictate what I do with it. So start feeling bad for all those girls who hate sports and yet find themselves attending the weekend baseball game--or worse yet, going to their man's softball games where the only thing higher than the score is the number of player injuries. And you can giggle to yourself as you curl up on the couch and watch a marathon of America's Next Top Model while your friend is traipsing along behind her boyfriend in the woods while he hunts and she attempts to bond with him. Besides, I don't think I'd look good in camouflage, anyway!

Another (Single Girl's) Perspective

So my college roommate, Catherine, has a great blog. Reading her blog is how I start my day (which means I usually start my day snorting or spitting my morning water onto my computer screen because I'm laughing so hard). She has addressed a rather touchy situation that comes with being single on Valentine's Day regarding the Conversation Hearts, so I thought I'd share with the rest of you:



http://www.thecatherinechronicles.com/

Reason #4: Justin Hartley

Okay, girls, so we're facing what some refer to as Valentine's Day, whereas others call it Singles Awareness Day. Whatever you call it, if you're single, chances are you're feeling a little bit left out as you watch one co-worker get roses; another co-worker spend hours on the computer trying to figure out which roses to order for his girlfriend; or a third co-worker get serenaded by a barbershop quartet (true story--that happened at my office once or twice). And while you might sort of enjoy watching the third co-worker squirm a little at the abundance of attention garnered from said quartet, you still might feel slightly, um, shall we say green? with envy.

Which leads to Reason #4 why it's good to be single. Ladies, may I present to you the Green Arrow. Isn't he so pretty? See, if someone's going to be shooting arrows at me around Valentine's Day, I'd say, Forget Cupid! I'll take an arrow from the Green Arrow, please. And here's a bonus tip, girls: Watch Smallville. You'll be so glad you did, AND you'll find even more reasons why it's good to be single.

Reason #3: Snoring

I am one of the lightest sleepers in the known universe. I'm not really sure why, but it's just a fact. Because of this fact, I have problems with noises that disturb my sleep--particularly snoring. Consider:

One time when I was in college, my friend, Robin, and I volunteered to lead a DiscipleNow over a weekend. Unfortunately, Robin was struggling with a sinus infection, but she was such a trooper and decided to go on the trip anyway. She and I were staying with these teenage girls in this really nice house, and the matriarch of the house graciously gave Robin and me a bedroom all to ourselves so we might be able to get a little sleep at night. (Because if you've ever done a DNow over a weekend with teenage girls, you know that sleep is a precious commodity.)

The first night, we were exhausted; particularly Robin, because she was really having some problems breathing due to the aforementioned sinus infection. Even our host mother's homemade soup, which should have been classified as some sort of chemical weapon because it was so dang hot, apparently had not even made a dent in opening up Robin's sinuses, even though I'm pretty sure it could have peeled paint off a wall. But I digress. So that night, Robin took some nighttime sinus medication and almost immediately drifted off to sleep.

Well, Light Sleeper here couldn't fall asleep so fast. The girls were still up giggling down the hall, which I expected. They finally started to quiet down, and I thought, Finally, I'm going to get some sleep here. And just as I started to drift off, I begin to hear the subtle snoring of my bedmate. Our conversations for the next 30 or so minutes went something like this:

Me: (whispering) Robin?
Robin: (snore)
Me: (a little louder this time) Robin?
Robin: (snorting awake) Huh? Whass goin' on?
Me: You're snoring.
Robin: I'm so sorry. (rolls over)

This conversation repeated itself on 2-3 occasions, and then we had this one:

Me: (no longer whispering) Robin!
Robin: (somewhat agitated) What!
Me: You're snoring again!
Robin: Well, fall asleep before me!
Me: I'm trying!!!

At this point, we both started giggling at the ridiculousness of this conversation, and I am so grateful that Robin was such a good sport because with her sinus infection, I'm sure she really didn't appreciate me continuing to wake her up. It's a wonder of all wonders that we remained friends after that night. (And I should note that Robin and I have spent the night together many times, and this was the only time this happened--she's not a habitual snorer.)

But this story just goes to illustrate my point: I cannot tolerate snorers. I don't mean to be rude about it; it's just that this girl is a Grumpy Gus if she doesn't get a full night's sleep (as many of you can attest to), and this, coupled with my tendency to be a light sleeper makes for a dangerous combination whenever I've had to share a bed/room with someone who has breathing issues at night.

I am deeply concerned about this when it comes to thinking about marriage. I have this utter fear that I am going to meet the most wonderful man, fall in love, get married, and discover that he needs to go on some sort of CPAP machine to deal with his uncontrollable snoring. I wonder if I can slip some sort of contract exclusion like this into my marriage vows: "I promise to love, honor, cherish . . . in sickness and in health . . . 'til death do us part--unless it is discovered that you snore, at which time this marriage contract is null and void." How do you think that would go over?

So the next time that you wake up from a great night of undisturbed sleep, think about Reason #3 why it's good to be single.

Reason #2: The Bathroom

Now, I've never been married, but I grew up with an older brother. I feel that this makes me somewhat of an expert on co-habitating with a member of the opposite sex, particularly when I spent 18 years dealing with him. Those of you who grew up with opposite-gender-siblings know what I'm talking about. At any rate, I found some solace when I went off to college and moved into a dorm room full of girls only, and one of the pleasant surprises I noted was the difference in the bathroom. For instance, it was such a nice surprise when I learned that:

1) the bathroom sink does not have to be coated in little hairs discarded from an electric razor.

2) the toilet seat does have the capability of remaining in the "down" position.

3) one can use hand towels and not find mysterious stains on them that you'd rather not know from whence they came.

4) one can go into the bathroom and find the towels in place on the towel rack rather than a wadded up mess of towels left on the bathroom floor to mildew.

5) the bathroom doesn't always have to smell like gym socks.

I could go on and on. It was nice not to find that my shampoo bottle had suddenly gone empty without explanation, particularly when the only other person to use my bathroom shaved his head (which explains #1 above). It was wonderful not to have to fight over who got to use the bathroom next (and girls, don't EVER let a guy tell you that girls hog the bathroom more than they do). And I never came into my bathroom and found my toothbrush mysteriously wet even though I hadn't used it since the day before. (Okay, that came from someone else, not me, but still--eww!)

So the next time you are taking a nice long bubble bath in your own bathtub at your leisure, think about Reason #2 why it's good to be single.

Reason #1: the Television

I will be the first to admit it: I am in love with my TiVo. It's fantastic! It allows me to record any program I want--the whole season!--with a mere click or two of a button. It saves all my programs for me to watch whenever it's convenient for me. It even offers suggestions to me about programs I might like to watch in the future. And, more importantly, it's full of all of MY programs!

Here is reason #1 that it's good to be single, and it's a reason that's near and dear to my heart: I have total control of the television. I love me some good tv shows, and I have entirely too many saved on my Season Pass Manager on the TiVo. But the good news is that I am the one who decides what will be recorded. I am the one who decides what will be deleted. I am the one who makes decisions about which program's recording should be cancelled because a program of higher priority is coming on at the same time.

My TiVo is not cluttered with shows that I don't like to watch, but have to keep on there because "the hubby" wants to see them. I don't have to fight with someone else about deleting his hours and hours of saved re-reuns of The A Team that are taking up too much space for me to record Gossip Girl. (Full disclosure: I loved The A Team as a kid.) True story: I know a woman who fought with her husband about freeing up space on the DVR because she wanted to delete all the episodes of a tv show--that he had on DVD, mind you!--to make room for a new show she wanted to record.

So when you find yourself feeling a little blue about being single, look no further than your own TV to remind you of Reason #1 why it's good to be single.

A Brief Introduction

I grew up in the South where marriage is expected of everyone. A girl is expected to do well in high school; she is allowed to go to college, and sometimes, even graduate school. But by the time she finishes her education, she faces the inevitable question by some well meaning relative or friend: "So, when are you getting married?" And unless you can say with certainty something to the effect of "June 24, 2013," any answer you give will be met with disapproval. Believe me, I've been there.

And with such tsk-tsking going on, it's easy to start wondering, "What's wrong with me?" "Why doesn't anyone want to marry me?" and "Am I going to have to start wearing long dresses with high neck lace collars if I'm going to be an old spinster?" These well meaning women who "just wants to see you married and happy already" seem to forget that sometimes, a girl makes life choices that leads her down a path different from the one that sees her married at age 22. And these same women insinuate that the only way we're going to be happy in life is if we marry and have a dozen babies. Gee, I really hope that doesn't happen to me (the dozen babies part, I mean; that's a little much, if you ask me!).

So this blog is an attempt to remind single women everywhere that your happiness is not dependent on whether you have a piece of expensive jewelry on your all-important finger. Our happiness should not be found in another human being who is just as fallen from grace as we are. And we can take our lives, just as they are, and just as they have been ordained by our Maker, and find peace, satisfaction, and even contentment without being married.

I would like to note what this blog is NOT: it is NOT meant to be a men-bashing blog. Sure, there will be plenty of times where we poke fun at the members of the opposite sex, but it's all in good fun. This is also NOT a forum to bash married women, either. Finally, this is NOT a blog that will be extolling the virtues of late drunken nights and bed hopping; if you haven't guessed by now, I am a Christian who is trying to honor God in all that she does.

So the intent of this blog is to encourage single women and to provide a little perspective (and, admittedly, some sarcasm) on life as we know it. At the end of the day, being single isn't all that bad.